Randy's Rockets has been covered by several publications, a few of which are real in this parody. Below: our coverage, our awards, and a press kit assembled with great enthusiasm and a home printer.
A representative sample of coverage. We've left out the really mean ones, which is most of them.
"We drove out to the shed expecting a scam. What we found was a scam with genuinely impressive welding. Randy offered us a fare on the spot. We are still thinking about it."
Read the piece →"Every aerospace engineer we consulted asked us to stop calling them. And yet Randy's return rate is, against all reason, a number he is willing to say out loud. We remain deeply concerned and mildly impressed."
Read the piece →"The countdown started at seven. The snack pack was older than our reporter. And yet, somewhere around apogee, we understood. Five stars. Would file a follow-up story from the ground, which we reached."
Read the piece →"It is, and we cannot stress this enough, an actual shed. There is a dog. There is a sign about bolts. There is, improbably, a rocket. We have never been more charmed by anything in our lives."
Read the piece →"We are legally unable to describe the contents of page 31. We can say that our reporter went very quiet, signed anyway, and reported the flight was 'worth it.' Make of that what you will."
Read the piece →"Second cheapest in the county, narrowly beaten by a man launching people from a trampoline. Randy took the loss graciously and offered our whole team a group rate. We accepted."
Read the piece →Trophies, ribbons, and one certificate laminated at the library. Proudly displayed on the shed's good shelf.
Everything a journalist needs, assembled by Deb the night before. Links are illustrative — this is a demo site, so nothing actually downloads.
The mission patch, the wordmark, and the exact shade of orange Randy insists on. Three files, one dream.
Download pack →One page of numbers, rounded generously, covering the fleet, the fares, and the famously good return rate.
Download fact sheet →High-resolution portraits of Randy, Deb, Chip, Marisol, Gary, and Biscuit. Biscuit's are the most requested.
Meet the crew →For interviews, launch invitations, or to politely ask whether any of this is legal, reach the media desk. Deb checks it between countdowns.
This is a parody. The address above is fictional and goes nowhere.